Vile Little Dungbeetle

Entrepreneurshit

bloody hell. its coming to the end of the holidays and instead of indulging in the luxury of rotting at home, i have to endure massively long hours cooped up in a box with 43 others listening to a preaching git.

so far the best impression ive got of an entrepreneur is that he/she is probably an optimistic imbecile. why? lessons 1 to infinity go something like this: risks of failure are immeasurably high, traps and stumbling blocks are hidden every step of the way and the promise of bankruptcy is nearly absolute. to top it all off, the git cheerfully informs me that nobody wants to lend money to an entrepreneur.

therefore, they say, the most logical thing to do is to write this holy git book called a business plan to try to fool rich and bored people with a lot money into thinking they can make even more money by helping an entrepreneur. the word theyve coined is 'invest', a synonym, i believe, for words like 'pity', 'charity', and 'moron'.

and i have got to write one.

but even a terminally stupid venture will have its backer, so i am led to believe that an entrepreneur is happiest after plunging into his/her fifth consecutive year of debt, basking in the bliss of ignorance and uncertainty, and that the show is all over when, by some stroke of misfortune, that damnned thing actually starts making money.

its as if evolution skipped a rung or two and out popped this curious breed.

posted by Tilted @ 12:24 am 4 comments

2 of hearts

a runs good. i highly recommend it. a bloody good gallop around the neighbourhood is even better and terrific if you want to give yourself a heart attack or hernia.

i just found out that a friend of mine, well a previously close friend of mine, make that my ex... i just discovered that of all things, shes gone and got herself married.

how incredibly shocking.

and shes all but 23, i havent a clue why shes in such a rage to tie the knot.

she looks happy though, i really do hope he treats her eons better than her previous (which to be absolutely clear, wasnt me), and that they will live happily ever after, in heavy taxes and lousy pay, through long working hours, through the wrinkles and the noxious bedroom gas emissions, and in laughter or tears.

grow old with each other, may both of you love and cherish each other till the cows come home and the fiddler falls off the roof. this is for the both of you, if you ever get to read this...cheers.

posted by Tilted @ 11:47 pm 5 comments

rawk on

there is a new super hero on the block. it is banglah boy.

able to withstand the fiery hell of a million inferno curries and evil spices, he makes superman oh so passe with his silly boyscout routine of solar-charging, even our batteries can do that.

knocking down buildings with a blowjob superman-style is so 1990s - banglah boys can knock up a building in a matter of months, even a silly looking one like the esplanade. lets see if superman can build something for a change rather than flattening stuff all the time.

so, superman can shoot heat waves from his eyes, well it will be useful if one is considering a career as a microwave oven. and why work alone like superman? banglah boys always work in groups of at least three - one to start the work while the others complete it with eye-power and sheer moral support.

and while superman is a closet romantic - just look at his pathetic day job as clark "i-dont-have-balls" kent, the uninhibited banglah boys will celebrate their love at any time of the day usually by dancing, anywhere and regardless of how odd (small coconut tree). or inappropriate (big coconut tree).

i am banglah boi (but dont tell anyone).

posted by Tilted @ 3:16 pm 2 comments

ding

posted by Tilted @ 10:49 am 0 comments

shoe

uh oh dont let the rain come down.

my roofs got a hole in it and i might drown.

posted by Tilted @ 11:16 pm 0 comments

one pretzel

a belated very happy birthday for the one and only germ!

i woke up one morning and it suddenly hit me, at an angle of about 37.16 degrees, how silly people really are.

in order to hide deep-seated insecurities, most of these curious specimens develop façades or public personas. possibly stemming from fear - a constant worry about how they are perceived by other people. a death sentence if they are thought of as 'uncool'...the very sound of that word - simply pathetic. so they feel a compulsion to act in certain, peculiar way, and in extreme cases, this sort of behaviour is emulated by other similarly mis-aligned individuals and together they perpetuate this sad class of maladjusted nincompoops. blind allegiance to certain hollywood actors for instance, and strange, alien mannerisms pop up like fungal growth on the other side of the globe.

and what a messed up place theyve made our world. and i dont mean the actors. what happened to the courage to be oneself? people with issues, they should really have sorted themselves out early on in life.

these people, how many have you met today?

posted by Tilted @ 12:12 am 4 comments